The XIII Days of Christmas
by Lonepichu
Summary: The twelve days of christmas as sung by the members of the organization.


The XIII Days of Christmas

I don't own any of the songs or charcters seen. Just a bit of random randomness with everyone's favorite Kingdom Hearts Organization.

OoOoOoO

Xemnas glared at Demyx, "I still don't know HOW you got us to do this, but the fact that you did ensures you a paycut." Demyx pailed under Xemnas' gaze, but he stood firm.

"Well, here goes nothing, really." Xaldin grabbed a microphone and tapped it. "All yours Demyx. This will be one company chirstmas party that we won't soon forget."

"On the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me," Demyx began in a singing voice, "A heartless in a non-exsistent tree!"

"This is so embaressing," Xemnas put a hand to his forehead. "On the second day of christmas my true love gave to me, some tylenol for my head ache."

"And a Heartless in a non-exsistent tree!" Demyx finished.

"You don't know how much I hate you right now." Xemnas glared. Demyx merely giggled.

"On the third day of christmas my true love gave to me a new pack of poker cards. The kind with the red designs on the back that come with free gambling chips and have the nice roght-out-of-the-box smell. The ones that cost 8.95 plus tax. Hint hint." Luxord, of course.

"Tylenol, because you idiots are all giving me a headache." Xemnas looked as if he wanted nothing more but to kill Demyx.

"And a heartless in a nonexsistent tree! You know what, that's a crap gift, what would I do with a tree that doesn't exsist? Though a heartless WOULD make a cute pet." Demyx pondered this for a second.

"On the fourth day of christmas Roxas better give to me," Axel grinned at Roxas, who waved at him with a blush, "12 pounds of sea-salt icecream."

"They should go on sale closer to christmas, but I don't think I'd wait that long, because by then they may all be gone." Luxord rambled.

"Tylenol, peptobismal, Aleve, Bengay, ANYTHING TO RID ME OF THESE IDIOTS!" Xemnas fumed.

"And a heartless in a non-exsistent tree. You know, I think I'm the only one serious about this." Demyx was once again in deep thought.

"On the fifth day of Christmas, Axel should give to me," Roxas thought for a second, "replacement boxers and a toothbrush. You really need to get over that boxer-klepto-thing you have with my boxers."

"Oh come on Roxas," Axel placated, "just don't forget the 12 pounds of sea-salt icecream."

"The glossy ones wouldn't be bad. OH and it'd be really cool to have a card case for them, nothing too flashy. Leather is, of course, perferred."

"You know what? Screw medicine. I want a hit-man to rid my world that never was of Demyx once and for all." Xemnas smiled and rubbed his hands together, scareing poor Demyx.

"The tree, a heartless, you know by now what I want."

"On the sixth day of christmas, just give me some eggnog or scotch or brandy, or red rum." Xaldin began to lick his lips, alcohal being a favourtie of his.

"What do you do with all of my boxers anyways?" Roxas asked.

"Err...on the fourth day of christmas just don't forget my icecream. Got it memorized?"

"Black leather because that brown stuff looks so cheep." 

"Yes, a cheep hitman, one that shall do my bidding as I command."

"A non-exsitent in a heartless tree. Wait a sec...that didn't come out right."

"On the seventh day of christmas I wanna new eye patch; this one's dirty." Xigbar whined.

"Beer." Xaldin burped.

"I really just want a toothbrush, because your tooth brush is getting worn out." Roxas looked over at Axel.

"So you're the one who took my toothbrush! I thought Demyx took it." Axel pointed an accusing finger.

"And Crown is always a good brand, you know I'm not a stickler for name-brands, but it's not that much more."

"I can't be bothered now, I'm on the cellphone!" Xemnas shouted, "Yes, as soon as possible. He's the one with the guitar that he calls a sitar, like it makes much of a differance."

"Screw the tree, I just want a pet heartless." Demyx smiled, "And a leash to put it on."

"What are we on? Okay, on the eighth day of christmas my true love gave to me, an ice machine." Vexen said coldly and plainly.

"A new eyepatch."

"Alchoal, Pina Colada, Margarita, anything of that sort."

"Well, you always take my boxers, it's only fair that I take your tooth brush!"

"Well, you know I have an affinity for your boxers, it's not MY fault!"

"Red-backed with the inticate designs. Also maybe the cards could be gold plated, but that's making me sound greedy."

"As fast as you can, thank you." Xemnas closed his cellphone and looked around innocently.

"A heartless and a leash." Demyx sang. He was really the only one singing, which made him look kind of stupid, but he didn't care.

"Give me some good reading material. Something not manga or pyro or porno or poetry related. Some good crime and law books," Larxene grinned cynically. However, she's dead, so no one cares.

"They treat me really nicely, they buy me all these ices," Vexen sang, though the completely wrong song.

"A new eye patch"

"Beer"

"You're ass on a stick," Roxas pointed at Axel.

"How about I take yours and we call it even?" Axel suggested with a shrug.

"Diamonds on the dice instead of the black dots. You can't have cards without diamond spot die"

"Give me five minutes," which seemed really random coming from Xemnas.

"A heartless and a leash," sang Demyx, apparently thinking that his line was witty enough the last time to repeat it this time.

"I don't even know what day we're on. Just give me some gloves. No dirt shall touch my hands for I am clean!" Zexion declared, holding up a finger.

"Psh, yeah right pretty boy," Larxene laughed.

"They say I'm really sexy, the boys they want to sex me! Always standing next to me, always dancing next to me," Vexen had to run off for he needed more ice.

"A new eye patch. I'm sick of saying this." Xigbar whined.

"A six pack,"

"Oh no, I will NOT let you dominate me again!" Roxas shouted, standing his ground.

"You know I love you, right?" Axel moved closer to the boy, who melted under his gaze.

"Make sure the diamonds are true diamonds, none of that crappy zync circonium shtick."

"Alright! They've arrived." Xemnas walked off stage.

"Whoop whoop, party over here!" Demyx was really getting into it. What "it" was has yet to be determined.

"Eleven, I think. Yeah, Lonepichu doesn't like me at all. Oh well. I just want good will to men and peace on Earth." A brick is promptly thrown at Lexaeus' head.

"My hands are too pure. Look how spotless they are!" a light shone brightly off of Zexion's hands.

"So that's why you..." Zexion shoved a glove in Larxene's mouth.

"A snowcone," Vexen grinned as he licked his snowcone.

"You know what I'm going to say, it's just pointless for me to repeat it," Xigbar sat on a stool and began to pout.

"Red Rum might be nice," Xaldin looked thoughtful.

"Darn it," Roxas sighed, allowing Axel to take the boy into his arms.

"All I want for christmas is you, baby," Axel sang. (yes, that's a song)

"In fact, the dice could be pure gold with true diamonds, now THAT would be pretty,"

"Yes, the one with the short blonde hair and the sitar-guitar thing," Xemnas pointed at Demyx. The men he was talking to nodded and cracked their knuckles.

"Celebrate good times, COME ON!" Demyx danced and sang, completely oblivious to the men behind him.

"On the 12th day of...no one's saying this anymore. Umm, I guess some scar-removing cream wouldn't hurt. I mean, do you think I LIKE having this huge scar on my face?" Sai'x crossed his arms and huffed.

"Ouch, bleeding, dying," Lexaeus wasn't taking well to the brick-to-the-head.

"Larxene, there is a such thing as too much information," Zexion glared at her.

"It's just so much fun to see you blush whenever I metion that you," another glove is shoved into her mouth.

"I wish someone would buy me more ices," Vexen hinted.

"Eye patch," Xigbar looked bored.

"Vodka, nice and strong."

Roxas and Axel are too busy snogging to sing their parts, though no one is truely singing the "12 days of christmas" song (not "My Humps" or "All I Want For Christmas is You") except Demyx, but we all know what's about to happen to him, so it doesn't matter.

"And have them engraved by some famous French artist so the value will go up. Oh, and some white gloves to hold them with."

"Hehe, my christmas wish is about to come true," Xemnas smirked.

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to," Demyx then turned and yelped as three sets of gruff hands grabbed him.

"On the XIII day of christmas I was given the best gift of all, the end of this song!" the extremally hot, sexy, beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, a brick is thrown at Lonepichu"Alright, I'll get on with it" Marluxia sang triumphantly, running a hand through his strawberry blonde hair, grinning cooly.

"Scar removal cream," Sai'x said firmly.

Lexaues died of blood loss.

"Larxene, I'm warning you!" Zexion held up a glove threateningly.

"Zexion smexed Vexen!" Larxene shouted. Zexion the proceded to strangle her with his glove.

Vexen was busy helping Zexion strangle Larxene, the two blushing at being in such close quarters to each other.

"Eye friggen' patch."

Xaldin was too busy chugging down alcohal to respond.

Roxas and Axel had migrated towards Axel's bedroom.

"Mohagany wood for the case. I think that about covers it." Luxord nodded, happy at his gift choice, which no one could ever afford.

"No one makes me sing stupid, pointless songs!" Xemnas grinned as his hitmen finished killing Demyx (I love Demyx, but it's what Xemnas wanted and I'm only a humble writer, sorry Demyx fans)and walked off the stage. The remaining people who weren't dead, wasted, or strangling Larxene walked off as well.

THE END

OoOoOoO

Never make Organization XIII get together for a musical O.o


End file.
